Free Bird Seed: Bait Strategy Document (Revised)

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Dec 24, 2025 · 1.1 KB · 1 min read · by Raj Patel

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# Free Bird Seed: Bait Strategy Document
 
## Objective
 
Deploy complimentary bird seed at a strategic location to attract the target into a pre-arranged capture zone.
 
## Target Profile
 
- Species: fast desert bird
- Known weakness: bird seed (all varieties)
- Approach speed: stationary when eating
- Departure speed: approximately 600 mph
 
## Deployment Plan
 
1. Place 5 lbs of premium bird seed in a pile on the road
2. Position capture mechanism 3 feet from seed pile
3. Conceal operator behind nearby boulder (minimum 50 ft for safety)
4. Wait
 
## Capture Mechanisms (choose one)
 
| Mechanism | Success Rate | Notes |
|-----------|-------------|-------|
| Falling anvil | 0% | Target moves before anvil lands |
| Cage drop | 0% | Target eats seed through cage bars |
| Trap door | 0% | Operator falls through instead |
| Grab by hand | 0% | Target is faster than hands |
 
## Budget
 
- Bird seed: $4.99
- Capture mechanism: $799.99
- Medical expenses: $12,000 (estimated)
 
## Historical Success Rate
 
0 for 31 attempts across all capture mechanisms.
 
## Conclusion
 
The bait works perfectly. The target always arrives. The problem is everything that happens after that.