Portable Hole: Field Test Results

Test 1: Road Placement

• Placed hole on desert road
• Target approached at high speed
• Target ran directly over hole
• Target did not fall in
• Operator walked over to inspect hole
• Operator fell in

Result: Failure

Test 2: Wall Placement

• Placed hole on cliff face to create tunnel shortcut
• Target ran through hole and emerged on other side
• Operator attempted to follow
• Rock face was solid for operator
• Operator's silhouette now permanently visible in cliff face

Result: Failure

Test 3: Repositioned by Target

• Placed hole in optimal position
• Briefly looked away
• Hole was now under operator's feet
• Fell approximately 200 feet

Result: Failure. Also, how?

Conclusion

The portable hole works exactly as specified. It just doesn't work for us.