Tunnel Paint: Optical Illusion Research v1
Tunnel Paint: Optical Illusion Research
Abstract
ACME Tunnel Paint creates a photorealistic tunnel entrance when applied to any flat rock surface. When viewed from the road, the painted tunnel is indistinguishable from a real tunnel.
Application Method
- Select a flat rock face adjacent to a road
- Apply ACME Tunnel Paint in the shape of a tunnel entrance
- Add perspective lines for depth
- Optional: paint a road leading into the tunnel
- Wait for target to drive/run into rock face
Observed Results
In 100% of trials (n=9), the target enters the painted tunnel as if it were real. The target's feet produce audible footsteps that echo, and headlights illuminate the painted interior. The target emerges from a previously nonexistent exit on the other side of the rock formation.
When the operator attempts to enter the same painted tunnel, it behaves as expected: flat rock. The operator's face compresses to approximately 1 inch in depth upon impact.
Theoretical Framework
We have no theoretical framework for this. Three physicists have reviewed the data. One quit. One is on sabbatical. One submitted a paper titled "On the Selective Permeability of Painted Surfaces" which was rejected by every journal.
Recommendation
Discontinue tunnel paint research. The paint works, but it appears to have preferences about who can use it, and we are not on the list.